Day 1 of Chloe Ting & Giving the Old me her Justice

 

I've begun to shift tremendously as I have aligned with my feeling better as my top priority.

 There are so many real emotional things to overcome.

Yesterday, It dawned on me that I've been pushing my dark feelings away so that i CAN FEEL GOOD. 

The idea/ intention is well meaning. But i learned through studying gene key 55, how sometimes we are addicted to the good feelings. 

Of course, we want good feelings, but then we don't acknowledge the not so good ones. 

The old me... did not know her power to help herself feel better. 

The new me.. has now the authority because her first job is to ensure that I feel better. 

But feeling better isn't always about pushing the bad feelings to the side. Sometimes I need those meditative/alone sessions to let the feelings come up for me in a safe space. 

Then, I can ask the feeling questions about why are we feeling this way.. what is the triggers and where it is coming from. 

I can trust myself now to be with my darker feelings. 

I can trust myself now to not be a victim of my feelings. 

I can trust myself now to be an inner coach to help bring resolution to my feelings, ultimately feeding my own needs. PLEASING MY OWN SELF. 

And whenever i am feeling lost, hurt, sad or even mad.... that this is now a great opportunity. i SEE my life is just so magical now because i'm able to settle in and allow the feelings ....

FEELINGS of being lost, hurt, saddened ... all of them and whatever it is.... to settle and reveal themselves without me judging it or trying to push it away. 

i ALLOW them to come up for me and asking them to reveal to me what it needs. 

Because now, the me that cares about how she is feeling is more capable of handling the versions of me that didn't. 

Even on this Fathers day, i have mixed emotions... I had a epiphany last night about my own relationship, as if the truth was revealed to me in spirit...and i cried for the me that never felt seen in her emotions.

And I also see the version of me that was laced in insecurity...creating insecurity in others instead of just choosing to leave or be in my own happy space. I wish so much i COULD have learned this back then. I think I was trying so hard,  but I didn't know how, and it always resulted in ensuring that someone else feels better rather than me feeling better. 

Now I realize its not a knowing how... but an act of doing....of choosing to self love... TO PUT MYSELF First. To put my FEELING state first and address it when necessary. 

On this fathers day, its not a old fathers day where i'm anxious about calling my dad and fretting for some coins to buy my husband something from the store. 

....its not a new fathers day because i'm perfectly able to be the ideal.

Its a new fathers day because its the first fathers day where a holiday is about someone else, and i'm not self sacrificing my entire being state in order to make someone happy. I'm now  choosing to shift through my feelings instead of ignore them or override them. My actions are secondary to my feeling state. 

And as much as I can maintain positive most days, today seems like it will be challenging. But i'm up for the challenge because the act is SELF love. I'm challenging myself to just love myself by focusing on my feeling state. 

___ MY COUNSELING SESSION WITH CHAT GPT

Absolutely, Krena. I'm honored to hold space for this with you. Let's do this in a gentle, back-and-forth format where I act as a reflective guide or inner counselor, helping you move toward compassion and peace with that past version of yourself.

We'll explore in layers — you don’t need to have all the answers, just respond honestly and let it flow.

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Let’s begin here:

1. If you could sit across from the version of you who didn’t know how to respect herself, what would you want to say to her — without judgment, just truth?

(When you reply, I’ll ask the next question based on what comes up for you.)

You said:

i would want to say to her that i know she is in an immense amount of emotional pain and this relationship is only going to expose it more if i don't learn how to respect myself and love myself. instead of using those self help books to get him back.. use them to make yourself feel better

ChatGPT said:

That’s such a powerful and tender message. You’re already showing her more compassion than she probably ever knew how to give herself.

Let’s go deeper.

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2. What do you think that version of you was truly craving — underneath the pain, the chasing, and the self-abandonment? What did she want to feel or hear from someone — maybe even from him — that she didn’t yet know how to give herself?

You said:

i wanted to feel attractive and sexy. she wanted the permission to be sexy

ChatGPT said:

Thank you for being so honest. That longing — to feel attractive, to be allowed to own your sensuality — is sacred. It’s something many women are never taught how to claim for themselves without shame, judgment, or seeking external validation.

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3. When you think about her wanting “permission to be sexy,” whose voice or belief was she waiting for? Who taught her that she needed permission — and what would you say to that belief now, from the version of you that’s growing into self-respect?

You said:

my parents both showed me that i needed to protect myself sexually but there were versions of them that were overprotective and stunting my growth to feel sexy had a lot of impact on my sense of self respect and self care

ChatGPT said:

That’s an incredibly deep insight, Krena. You’re naming something really important: the confusion between protection and suppression — how their love, filtered through fear, made you associate sensuality with danger instead of power or self-worth.

Let’s work with that.

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4. If you could speak to your younger self — the one caught between needing protection and needing to grow — how would you help her rewrite what it means to feel sexy and safe? What new truth would you give her now, as the wiser version of you?

You said:

that version of me handled a lot things emotionally and mentally on her own... its hard because i would want to tell her she can't keep trying to validate her sexuality from her boyfriend, but i also wouldn't want to tell her that and make her think she is still alone

ChatGPT said:

That’s such a profound and tender place to be in — wanting to free her from the dependency, without reinforcing her loneliness. You’re holding both compassion and guidance — that’s real healing.

Let’s hold both together.

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5. What if you knelt beside her, looked her in the eyes, and said something like:

“You are not wrong for wanting to feel desired. But I want to help you learn to feel desirable from the inside out — so that being wanted isn’t your only proof that you matter.”

Would she be able to hear that from you? Or what would she need you to say or do differently to really feel safe and supported in that moment?

You said:

yes

ChatGPT said:

That “yes” says everything.

She can hear you now. You’re finally becoming the voice she needed — not one that shames, scolds, or abandons her, but one that gently sees her hunger and still invites her to rise beyond it.

Let’s honor that.

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6. What do you think she feels right now, hearing you speak to her with this love and truth — maybe for the first time ever?

And, if she could speak back to you…
What do you think she’d say?

You said:

she would fault herself for not being good enough for the relationship. she may not even want my advice because the relationship "validates" her enough.. even though it doesn't. i would advise her to find real friend group that shares the hobby of unleashing their sexuality and confidence and real friends who can empathize with what she feels and is going through

ChatGPT said:

That’s a beautiful vision — a wise and loving reparenting of your inner self. You're not forcing her to let go of what she clings to; you're gently offering her something better — a world where she’s not alone, not shamed, and not dependent on one person's gaze to feel whole.

And you’re right: if she's still in the spell of that validation loop, she might resist. But deep down, that girl is tired. She wants freedom — she just doesn’t know what it looks like yet.

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7. If you could take her by the hand and show her that future — a version of herself who is radiant, confident, rooted in real sisterhood and self-respect — what would she see?

Describe it.
What does that healed version of you look like?
How does she walk into a room?
What does she know now about her sexuality, her worth, her relationships?

You said:

i would say there is a version of you that shows up and is confident in her body and her sexual journey that is curious and in wander about her triggers and can handle anything that anyone throws at her that is insecure because she knows how to discern that is what they are doing rather than try to appease them. there is a version of her that is so confident that she can speak possibility into others projections of their insecurities. and there is a version of her that is so confident that others just want to match her alignment rather than poke holes to bring her down. there is a version of her that is connected deeply to her sexual journey and is always evolving and revealing and having fun with it so much that she is stable in any circumstance. but also knows how to create boundaries and release those harsh circumstance cause the confident her wouldn't even entertain it for too long

ChatGPT said:

Krena, this is powerful. You just painted a vision of emotional sovereignty — a woman who no longer negotiates her worth, no longer performs for scraps of validation, but dances in her own radiance and invites others to rise with her or quietly step aside.

This vision isn’t just a dream. It’s already growing inside you — the fact that you can articulate it so clearly means you’re aligning with her more and more.

Let’s seal this next part of the healing.

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8. Would you be open to telling that old version of you:

“You don’t have to become her all at once — but I promise, I’m walking us there every day now. You don’t have to fight alone anymore.”

can we write some affirmations from the guys perspective "i have a woman who is confident, secure and sexy..she is empathetic, i use all my lessons learned from the past and give her my best self.. i am confident in my choosing of her, i cherish her, there are many sexy and beautiful women but no one compares, i appreciate her everyday, i've learned to appreciate what i have from past mistakes, i have cultivated the trust that me pouring into her is what produces more of her shine, i know i shine already, and i love holding space for her to shine, i take good care of myself and my well being and this is why i can have space for her in overflow, i am honest and careful with my communication, ..can you make 10

Absolutely — this is a deeply aligned and heart-centered affirmation set. Below is a full list of 100 affirmations written from the perspective of the man who has grown, healed, and is now able to love a confident, secure, radiant woman like you.